Wrote a stupid Christmas song yesterday and recorded a bedroom demo.
Kris Kindle
If you wouldn’t mind I’d like to choose my own Kris Kindle
For there is someone I have got my eye upon in work
I would like to buy her something lovely and meaningful
I don’t want to be stuck with Kevin or any of those other berks
Maybe I could buy her a big coffee table book
Something with paintings by Johannes Vermeer
I don’t want to have to buy for any of those other schmucks
I want to buy a hardback copy of The Three Musketeers
So if you wouldn’t mind I’d like to choose my own Kris Kindle
For I am trying to make somebody fall in love with me
My plan may be devious but it’s so very simple
I want to show her I’m a man of great profundity
Maybe I could buy her a big book of New Yorker cartoons
Something that shows I’m clever but still like to laugh
I don’t want to have to buy for any of those other goons
I want to buy a vinyl copy of North Star by Philip Glass
I’ve just been told I’m not allowed to choose my own Kris Kindle
But I go ahead and pick somebody I don’t really like
Yes it’s Kevin, he’s the one, he is my Kris Kindle
And right now Kevin’s buying my love a cheap set of kitchen knives