About five years ago, I went through a phase of writing immature, throwaway songs about how bitter and insecure I become when promoting myself on social media. My way of dealing with it, I guess. I presume the Buddha says something about self-awareness being the key to something or other.
Anyway, here are a couple of needy, embittered, immature throwaway demos.
Please Click Like on this Song
Please click like on this song
It would mean so much to me
Please click like on this song
Pretend it’s a friend’s baby
Coz if you don’t click like on this song
I’ll assume that you have listened and thought that it was shit
If you don’t click like on this song
I’ll feel ashamed
Please click like on this song
I can see that you’re online
Please click like on this song
Or I’ll start fucking crying
Coz if there are no likes for this song
I’ll assume that you all think I’m a pathetic human being
If there are no likes for this song
I’ll assume that you all think I’m a talentless piece of shit
If there are no likes for this song
I’ll feel ashamed
I did actually post that on Facebook and it got 3 likes. Oh and here is a quiet, harpsichord phone sketch of the same song that marks its genesis.
Bitter, Insecure, Egomaniacal Musician on Facebook
I derive self-esteem from the music that I make
So if you don’t like my melodies, I assume you don’t like me
And if you don’t like me, it is hard for me to like you
So go ahead and like other bands, yeah, and fuck you too
Coz if you don’t like my music page then you are not my friend
If you don’t like my music page then you are not my friend
In the end, I took this approach to songwriting (i.e. embracing my inner angry child etc.) to its logical conclusion and created a punk rock side project called The Five Pigs, with Liam plus Dan and Dara from Girl Band.
It was all very exciting at the time (we recorded 3 songs in studio) but I’ve had to temporarily shelve it and instead devote all studio time to Tigers of Tin Pan and an even more exciting project I have yet to reveal. Serious songs take priority.
That being said, somewhere down the line, several classic punk rock anthems (including, among others, “You’re All a Pack of Cunts”, “Go Fuck Yourself”, “I Shall Live in this Hotel”, and “Drunk and Stoned in the Cinema”) will surface. It just may take a couple of years is all.
The Five Pigs is to be this anonymous, pig mask wearing thing. Don’t tell anyone about it if you are reading this. It is top secret.
I was trying to think of an image for this blog but my brain couldn’t do any better than a Facebook thumb. That seemed a bit lame so I took a photo of my own upped thumb and used that instead. The faint scar around the thenar eminence is from a fall I took in our old milking parlour many years ago.